confidence, goals, health, IBS, paleo, well being

New Year, New Me…..right?

Happy new year folks! Its 2018….this means a new year, a new me….right? WRONG. I can guarantee I will still be the same little fireball that I was last year. I will still get Hangry, still get bouts of road rage when people don’t thank me for letting them into my lane, still hit snooze 50 times before I get up. I don’t need it to hit January 1st for me to know that I should drink more water and go to bed early – the purple bags under my eyes tell me that already.

I feel 2017 was a great year for me, I started this blog, I felt that I finally got my nutrition under control, I trusted the process of my training programme, I ate and drank myself silly in NYC, smashed some goals and learned some new skills in the gym… and I damaged ligaments in my foot and had to wear a stupid boot for 12 weeks (yes this was a positive thing in the end).  I actually feel that 2017 made me so much more confident in my own abilities and made me realise that just because I am a woman (and a tiny woman at that), doesn’t mean that I can’t be strong. There was something else that really hit me in 2017 also –

That I need to stop chasing my perfect bikini body. Yup, you know the one….the one where I have both buns and abs of steel. Here are the two things I realised in 2017 whilst chasing my buns/abs of steels on a hypothetical beach with my hair in perfect beach curls  (because in reality I look like Phoebe from Friends whilst running, my hair is shoved up and probably dry shampooed for the last 2 days and then I fall flat on my face and end up in a bloody boot).

  1. No matter what shape my body gets into – I don’t think I will ever be happy. I will always want tighter abs, a perter bum, arms to rival Arnie. Its human nature. We always want more. We are idiots.
  2. I am not a bikini model/lingerie model/bodybuilder. I am a 29 year old manager of  residential care setting that works 40-50 hours a week and enjoys lifting heavy stuff, eating chocolate, drinking alcohol and girly stuff. Who am I trying to achieve this body for? My husband married me when I wasn’t in amazing shape so that’s not why hes with me now. My friends are not my friends because I have thighs that I can crack a nut in. I was chasing this idea because I thought it would make me happy. But lads, it didn’t. I just got stupidly obsessed at looking at my stomach checking for a little ab to bob up to the surface. Again, I am an idiot.

As I have said many times, do what you wanna do. If you wanna get buns and abs of steel – go on ahead and send me a picture – I will cheer you on every step of the way. My way of thinking isn’t meant to be your way of thinking. What I want is to head into my last 6 months of being 29 being stronger, fitter, more knowledgeable and ready to tackle being 30. So I leave you with this final thought – decide what you want to achieve and WHY you want to achieve it. Will it make you a better person? Will it make you show up as a more confident you? Will it make you feel like you can bench press your husband cus your strong AF?

If so – do it. If not – well you’re an idiot (KIDDING)!!! You just need to maybe reconsider those why’s. Whats the worst that can happen? I shall leave you with a little picture of my smiling face on NYE…… ENJOY and please feel free to get in touch!! I will be going into 2018 doing a little food tracking on My FitnessPal so lets see how that goes – wish me luck!!



Lots of love and positive vibes xx




I’m back…with a boot

Hi all, sorry I have been a bit quiet lately.  I thought I would come on and write a quick blog whilst whipping up some scrambled eggs, chicken and spinach for breakfast (and there was me thinking I couldn’t multitask!).

So – whats been going on in the world of coconut ricey I hear you ask – well let me tell you  story. Two weeks ago, I was out walking the dogs when they spotted my husband standing outside. Now, if you know my two dogs you will know that they are UBER excitable, I don’t mean like waggy tails, I mean like eyes glazed over, whole bum moving with their wagging tails and they will take off like a bat out of hell. So usually when they see Sean standing outside, I let them off the lead and then they run to Sean and straight into the house (because after walkies comes food). We have done this a million times over and never has anything went wrong. WELL – not this particular morning. no no no ……Bear decides to divert on his way up the street into a little old lady’s house.   He barges straight past this little old lady standing in her nightgown, straight into her house! The look of horror on her face!

I manage to retrieve the dogs from her house, apologising profusely on the way out, feeling that my face was tomato red, stress levels through the roof, but hey ho, I am on the way back across the street to the safety of my own house. WRONG. The dogs spot my husbands van now driving up the street and decide to take off in the direction of the oncoming van – I was not expecting this….I now have two dogs about 30kg each pulling in the same direction expectedly .And that’s when it happened….BOOM. Deborah hits the dust. In spectacular fashion, infront of my husband, two of his workers, the lady across the street, her son and his two children. Well, the tears came in floods. You know when your a child and you fall, its that instant crying before you even know if your hurt or not? Yup, that was me, a snivelling crying mess right there on the pavement. Gorgeous Deborah, just gorgeous.

Annnyhow. Got into the house…turns out my ankle now looked like a tennis ball, I have two lumps poking out of the top of my foot, I couldn’t walk and the dogs….well they were now firmly in the dog house, literally. Anyway Sean told me to stick some frozen peas on it and it would “be sweet”. I suffered on for the day and went to the hospital the next morning, only to discover they thought I had a fracture and give me a big dopey boot to wear. I was so upset, I spent so much time just looking at the stupid boot and wondering why would this happen to a good person like me?! (OK so I know its not the end of the world but come on guys, I am a pretty good person).

I wasn’t really mentally prepared for not being able to go out and walk the dogs or not train in the gym….for me, those things are just as much as mental well-being as much as physical well-being. Theres nothing like going for a big walk in the pouring rain and coming home to a hot bubble bath to process the day, or lifting weights in the gym and having to focus on the task in hand, when maybe your day has been so busy you’ve not had a minute to think. So for me, the thought of not being able to do that was pretty crap.

Fionnbharr gave a call after the whole debacle happened and advised me to come into the gym as he had a plan of what we could do, the boot was welcome at Virtu….he also told me he would carry me up the stairs if needed with Claire (Claire I am not sure that Fionn actually consulted you in this offer, if not I am sorry!). I was literally delighted to hear it, not about being carried up the stairs, but the fact that I wasn’t going to be missing out. So off to the gym I went, three times per week as usual, doing lots of mobility and lots of upper body stuff…people told me I was mad and silly for going to the gym when I cant even walk properly. That may be a fair point, but where there’s a will there’s a way. We also have a laugh doing a video for Virtu of the boot and me doing some Z presses. I was a natural behind the camera (JOKE).

So the take away note from this – Bear and Goose are too crazy for their own good, I am now hobbling around with a stupid looking boot on my foot, but silver lining is that the boot is now an internet sensation because of Fionn’s video and with all the upper body sessions I will be built like Arnie in no time.

Thank you to Fionn for having me back in the gym, and also for being flexible around times etc.

BUT the biggest THANKS of all has to go to my Husband Sean (if you don’t like soppiness then just x out now, I only do this kind of stuff on a rare occasion so its not too bad). Thank you for everything. The lifts to and from work, the lifts to and from the gym, walking the two crazy ass dogs, making dinner, bringing home a little treat for a cup of tea to cheer me up, taking me to hospital appointments, and everything else in amongst all the other stuff you have to do in a day, not to mention listening to me cry and moan and complain and hobble at an excruciatingly slow pace .   I really appreciate it. Without you I would honestly be lost.


Anyway – peace out.

Love Deborah and the boot.

confidence, goals, health, IBS, paleo, well being

The 7 Point Cycle

Have you ever heard of the saying “you can bring a horse to water but you cant make it drink”….well I have had a few conversations in recent times that makes this quote spring straight into my mind. I have had a few people come and chat to me about the physical feelings they get when they eat, and they suspect it is IBS. Some people I have talked to currently live with IBS. We all share similar physical reactions to certain foods, but more and more I hear about the emotional and psychological effects of IBS. Its a vicious circle….and this is how it goes:

  1. Ahhhh a little scoop of those creamy mashed potatoes wont hurt, because they are clearly delicious and nutritious.
  2. Spoons what can only be described as a large mountain of potatoes onto the plate
  3. Eats to capacity……1 minute, 2 minute, 3 minute, 4, 5 minutes, 6 minutes, 7 minutes more….BOOM. Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of a handsome balloon belly. You must be so pleased, its beautiful (said no one ever).
  4. Trousers are too tight, so only thing to do is go and get husbands tracksuit bottoms/pyjama bottoms/something with an elasticated waist to accommodate new circular disposition.
  5. Now this is where it gets real good: Step 5 in the list is what I call ‘The Guilts’. Yup, cue a strong feeling of guilt because you KNOW those potatoes were NOT delicious and nutritious. YOU KNEW your stomach would react like this….whyyyyyy have you done this again.  This is when ‘The Guilts’ turn to stage 6….
  6. Self Hatred. You are now going through the motions. You will start saying things like ‘I am so stupid’, ‘I am fat’, ‘Ugh my stomach is so ugly’, ‘I look like a beached whale’….any of this sound familiar???  Once you’ve criticised yourself enough, we can move onto stage 7
  7. ‘Feeling sorry for yourself’. Yup, get ready – this is the stage where you may get weepy, where you will go and get a blanket and a hot water bottle and curl up in a little ball, pulling your elasticated bottoms over your big bloated belly to pretend its not there. You will ask yourself “why is this happening to me, I am a good person”. Give it 10 hours, a nap and chick flick and you might be able to go put on those big girl pants I talked about in my last blog. ****WARNING also stay away from Instagram during the feeling sorry for yourself stage.  This is only going to add to misery because you want to look like the tanned, blonde haired, glistening and glowing babes you follow….knowing that right now you cant even stand up for fear of vomiting/causing more cramps/dear god knows what else.*****

Here is the cold hard truth about the above cycle…..its true. Very true. The amount of women I hear saying “it makes me feel so horrible”, “I look pregnant”, “I feel disgusting”. Heres another cold hard truth – IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY. I cannot stress enough how much you need to stop living like this – I did for years, was constantly going through the motions, and its nonsense.

But the biggest cold hard truth of all – you have to be serious about making a whole lifestyle change. I have had people saying “I am doing a 2 week juice detox”, or “I am fasting as I think not eating is going to help”…..stop looking for the quick fix, there isn’t one. It is going to take time, effort, moodiness, cravings, giving in to cravings, learning lessons, consistency and determination. Believe me, you will not regret it. I can give you this information, I can tell you my real life experiences….and that’s all. I am nothing special – I am not rich, nor famous, or anyone of any real influence over the world. I am an ordinary 28 year old girl, who goes to work everyday, drinks copious amounts of tea, has a strong unbreakable love for her two Labradors and likes coconut. Sure isn’t that most people?!

I am by no means trying to preach to you – if you want to juice detox, or fast, or eat a mountain of potatoes, or a family size bucket of KFC chicken, do it. But maybe ask yourself why your putting yourself through it. For me, it was because I wasn’t educated enough in food and IBS. It  has been a serious learning curve for me. Like I always say, sometimes I give in to cravings and sometimes  I go through the 7 point cycle, sometimes I just I just say to myself “AHHHH well, these things happen, what ya gonna do?!” in my best nonchalant tone. The thing is, I know what I am going to do….draw a line in the sand, get back on the right track and forget about it. Like I said in my last post – put your big girl pants on and get on with it.

FYI – I actually enjoy when people message me. Please feel free to do so. I will be honest, open and transparent about what I have found works and doesn’t work….what I struggle with and how I overcome it (if that’s what happens of course).

FYI pt.2 – coconut addiction still alive and well. I am now using a gradual fake tanner which makes me smell of coconuts and its wonderful. What a time to be alive.

Peace out!


goals, health, paleo, well being

744 hours to go…

I have just realised it is just over four weeks until bikini time arrives….that is 31 days. 744 hours if we want to get really precise.  So as you all know #OperationAbs has been in go-go mode for the last 12 weeks and my last blog post highlighted just how difficult it can be.  Not all sit ups and HIIT sessions. More like Air Bikes, Arnie Presses (which I just love the name of because Arnie is a legend), hanging knee raises, flex arm holds and serious amount of sweat. And I don’t mean sweat like those insta girls who look all glistening and shimmery – I mean red faced, blotchy, and look like I’ve been trailed through a hedge backwards. Gorg.

I have calculated that I have 20 sessions left in the gym – 20 hours to get my abs to drag their sorry ass to the front of my body. My coach has been telling me that abs are made in the kitchen….well let me tell you, I have searched and searched my kitchen, and I cant find them anywhere….cue tears running down my sweaty post-searching face. To be fair, I see where Fionn is coming from, theres really no point busting your backside in the gym just to go home and eat all of the food in your house in one sitting. I saw a quote from the guys at Barbell Shrugged (if you don’t know who they are, google/youtube them – they talk sense!). They said that we should “focus on the long-game rather than the instant gratifications.  we know this can be a hard pill for some folks to swallow, but its the truth. We’d rather you know the truth rather than try to sugar coat it”. DAMN RIGHT.
I keep lifting up my top after a workout and expecting a set of abs to have magically popped up, bobbing to the surface like a plastic bottle floating in the ocean.

So believe me when I say you gotta seriously stick at it…..I have been training for nearly a year now – it will be a year on 13th July. I have been training like a demon for 8 weeks now in persuit of my bikini body, and let me tell you its not for the faint hearted. You have to be training and eating right – doing just one or the other isn’t going to cut it. I have really been struggling with my chocolate cravings (especially for us women when our hormones like to play a little game of “eat all the chocolate in sight” for a few days out of the month, girls you get me, right? whilst the guy reading this awkwardly shuffle in their chair). The other thing I genuinely struggled with was actually understanding how to eat for my goal. I ended up asking my coach to write me down examples of the food I should be eating for each meal, because I just couldn’t wrap my head around it.  The struggle is real.

So heres an example of what my food day has looked like:

7am – butter coffee – this sounds stinking but OMG, if you don’t drink this currently, youre missing out.  I know you are probably screwing up your face and thinking I have lost the plot, but seriously try it….(1 cup of coffee put in a blender with a teaspoon of good quality grass fed butter)

10(ish)- meat, eggs, spinach, tomatoes and/celery, half an avo or some halloumi

2(ish) – meat, big ass salad

handful of nuts about 4ish to stave off any hunger for gym sesh. Fionn told me to go for macadamias (they are king apparently), but dear god, they taste like chalk.

7(ish) – meat meat and more meat, sweet potato (only on training days), spinach, roasted tomatoes or some sort of veg. I got a veg spiralizer and I am UBER excited to use it…courgetti here I come.

I have been advised to keep my 90% dark choc to after din dins instead of after lunch is when I was having it!

Don’t get me wrong, I have eaten some treats that aren’t exactly sticking to paleo life / healthy treat life (marks and spencers chocolate chip shortbread is TOO GOOD to say NO to….I don’t even regret shoving it in my face with a large mug of tea).

At the end of the day, I am 100% committed to the goal, but I am human and not a robot…sometimes cravings get the better of us and we just need to draw a line under it and move on. So to finish off the blog post, heres the things I have learned through this process, especially in the last 8 weeks.

  1. Set a goal and decide whether you are truly committed to it. Don’t do a half arsed attempt at it.
  2. Ask questions, no matter how stupid they might seem in your head. I have my coach TORTURED.  But I am not going to assume I know something, because that usually turns out not so well.
  3. Don’t listen to others who don’t get what your now about. You will get opinions from people who all of a sudden have turned into a personal trainer within the last 2 minutes and believe they know better than your own personal trainer. Nod along and smile.
  4. don’t be super hard on yourself.  If you have a treat or two, even if you eat your own body weight in kebab on a Saturday night, just get back on it again. Don’t spend the next days crying over it. Draw a line in the sand, put on your big girl pants and get it done.

Hope this has been helpful for your guys and you can relate somehow. And do you know something, no matter what shape I get to when bikini time arrives, I know I will be happy because I’ve worked hard and made serious progress.  If I don’t have the abs of my dreams then so be it – I am a work in progress and I this is how I shall always be.


goals, health, paleo

When you bring your own broccoli to Nandos…

So #OperationAbs is well under way, 7 weeks and 2 days to Morocco. So how am I getting on I hear you ask….well….heres the honest truth. Its brutal. I did not expect it to be this difficult. I thought we would just do a little more core work in the gym, maybe a few home workouts and cut out the sweet treats and boom – abs-ville here I am.

No. This is not the case. First of all, I thought I was pretty en-pointe with my food. Well Deborah – no you were not. DISAPPOINTED. So I am back to the drawing board with the aul food situ….if theres one way to make yourself feel stupid, confidently write a food diary, hand it to your coach and wait to have it scribbled all over. Of course, I know this is the best way to learn – from your mistakes. So onwards and upwards folks.

Exercise is a whole other ball game. I used to always say that exercising was difficult but eating was even harder…..right now I genuinely do not know which one is more difficult. It is both physically and mentally demanding and requires a lot of concentration and pulling some sort of inner strength out of your backside when you just wanna give up. Heres the difficult thing for me too, I am not a competitive person…I never have been. I don’t really have that spark in me others have that drive them to do better than the last time. I wish I did. Maybe I need to carry a picture of my bikini’s around with me to remind me that I have to get into these pretty little two pieces in 7 weeks.

Anyway….#OperationAbs is going along nicely, with 7 weeks to go. I am currently working out with my coach 3 times a week and 2-3 homeworks per week ontop of that. I am taking this mission very seriously. So seriously that I went to Nando’s yesterday and brought my own carton of broccoli….no this is not some sort of metaphor for something, I actually went to Nandos, ordered chicken and a salad and brought a carton of broccoli with me. For a minute, I considered caring about what other people thought….and then I decided nothing good would come from that. Here’s the thing – opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. I understand that people don’t get the whole paleo thing, I get it they don’t understand why I wouldn’t just go all out at Nandos because I am out with my friends. I used to one of the people that laughed at people like me……but as my lovely friend Ashleigh said last night, ‘they only laugh because they don’t have the will power to go what you are doing’.  I have a goal and I am sticking to it….question my broccoli antics if you wish.

So  listen up folks, getting toned, muscular, defined, bikini-body-ready (use whatever term your want), is not easy. And I seriously mean that….I have left the gym feeling on the verge of tears because I am just tired and its taken a lot of mental and physical strength to get me through (yes I am weepy when I am tired – deal with it).  My advice to you is seriously commit…just get shit done, I don’t think you will regret it.

P.s. – Val drags are the devil. Nothing good comes from these apart from the ability to save yourself if a zombie apolocypse happens.