The 7 Point Cycle

Have you ever heard of the saying “you can bring a horse to water but you cant make it drink”….well I have had a few conversations in recent times that makes this quote spring straight into my mind. I have had a few people come and chat to me about the physical feelings they get when they eat, and they suspect it is IBS. Some people I have talked to currently live with IBS. We all share similar physical reactions to certain foods, but more and more I hear about the emotional and psychological effects of IBS. Its a vicious circle….and this is how it goes:

1. Ahhhh a little scoop of those creamy mashed potatoes wont hurt, because they are clearly delicious and nutritious.
2. Spoons what can only be described as a large mountain of potatoes onto the plate
3. Eats to capacity……1 minute, 2 minute, 3 minute, 4, 5 minutes, 6 minutes, 7 minutes more….BOOM. Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of a handsome balloon belly. You must be so pleased, its beautiful (said no one ever).
4. Trousers are too tight, so only thing to do is go and get husbands tracksuit bottoms/pyjama bottoms/something with an elasticated waist to accommodate new circular disposition.
5. Now this is where it gets real good: Step 5 in the list is what I call ‘The Guilts’. Yup, cue a strong feeling of guilt because you KNOW those potatoes were NOT delicious and nutritious. YOU KNEW your stomach would react like this….whyyyyyy have you done this again.  This is when ‘The Guilts’ turn to stage 6….
6. Self Hatred. You are now going through the motions. You will start saying things like ‘I am so stupid’, ‘I am fat’, ‘Ugh my stomach is so ugly’, ‘I look like a beached whale’….any of this sound familiar???  Once you’ve criticised yourself enough, we can move onto stage 7
7. ‘Feeling sorry for yourself’. Yup, get ready – this is the stage where you may get weepy, where you will go and get a blanket and a hot water bottle and curl up in a little ball, pulling your elasticated bottoms over your big bloated belly to pretend its not there. You will ask yourself “why is this happening to me, I am a good person”. Give it 10 hours, a nap and chick flick and you might be able to go put on those big girl pants I talked about in my last blog. ****WARNING also stay away from Instagram during the feeling sorry for yourself stage.  This is only going to add to misery because you want to look like the tanned, blonde haired, glistening and glowing babes you follow….knowing that right now you cant even stand up for fear of vomiting/causing more cramps/dear god knows what else.*****

Here is the cold hard truth about the above cycle…..its true. Very true. The amount of women I hear saying “it makes me feel so horrible”, “I look pregnant”, “I feel disgusting”. Heres another cold hard truth – IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY. I cannot stress enough how much you need to stop living like this – I did for years, was constantly going through the motions, and its nonsense.

But the biggest cold hard truth of all – you have to be serious about making a whole lifestyle change. I have had people saying “I am doing a 2 week juice detox”, or “I am fasting as I think not eating is going to help”…..stop looking for the quick fix, there isn’t one. It is going to take time, effort, moodiness, cravings, giving in to cravings, learning lessons, consistency and determination. Believe me, you will not regret it. I can give you this information, I can tell you my real life experiences….and that’s all. I am nothing special – I am not rich, nor famous, or anyone of any real influence over the world. I am an ordinary 28 year old girl, who goes to work everyday, drinks copious amounts of tea, has a strong unbreakable love for her two Labradors and likes coconut. Sure isn’t that most people?!

I am by no means trying to preach to you – if you want to juice detox, or fast, or eat a mountain of potatoes, or a family size bucket of KFC chicken, do it. But maybe ask yourself why your putting yourself through it. For me, it was because I wasn’t educated enough in food and IBS. It  has been a serious learning curve for me. Like I always say, sometimes I give in to cravings and sometimes  I go through the 7 point cycle, sometimes I just I just say to myself “AHHHH well, these things happen, what ya gonna do?!” in my best nonchalant tone. The thing is, I know what I am going to do….draw a line in the sand, get back on the right track and forget about it. Like I said in my last post – put your big girl pants on and get on with it.

FYI – I actually enjoy when people message me. Please feel free to do so. I will be honest, open and transparent about what I have found works and doesn’t work….what I struggle with and how I overcome it (if that’s what happens of course).

FYI pt.2 – coconut addiction still alive and well. I am now using a gradual fake tanner which makes me smell of coconuts and its wonderful. What a time to be alive.

Peace out!

 

What on earth is Hygge?

Good morning all. Its a beautiful sunny morning here in Belfast…i think spring has officially arrived. Today I am working later, so I thought it would be an ideal time to write a blog.  first I want to share my breakfast with you, well because it was totally awesome. Homemade granola (I will get the recipe up), coconut and almond milk, homemade strawberry and coconut cream and mixed berry compote… homemade also may I add. So you can go ahead and be a mixture of jealous and impressed, I allow you. See the whole Paleo thing doesn’t look too bad now does it?!

Today I want to talk about the concept of Hygge….pronouced Hooga (not higgie as it was introduced to me). The first time I heard about this hygge thing was when we met my brother and law and a friend of my husbands for coffee in Belfast city centre. It is a place called Established Coffee company, which is a cafe which prides itself in producing quality coffee and a cool, calm space for people to enjoy it in.  as we sat having coffee and chatted, my husbands friend remarked how “hygge” this was. Mickey Joe gave an explanation of what he felt hygge was, but all I heard was something about candles, and well I was sold to the idea..  Me being me, well I like anything a little out there, so I decided to do a little more research into what this hygge meant….

In essence, hygge is a Danish concept which compasses  enjoying the good things in life with good people, or you can experience hygge on your own also.  its about experiencing that warm and fuzzy feeling when doing an activity that is really and truly enjoyable, and provides a calming effect on your soul. Sounds airy fairy, I know, but its honestly a concept o think we should all adapt. The Danes are apparently (statistically) the happiest people in the world, even though they pay the highest taxes – so how can that be?! Well the Danish people adapt this hygge concept into their every day life. Often at the office, they have pastries and candles lit, to give an ambient working environment, which I guess boosts productivity…. this is read from The Little Book of Hygge, you should totally check it out. You will have a sudden urge to light candles everywhere.

Here are a few examples of Hygge activities in my life, that will maybe give you a better explanation of what it is…

• A rainy Sunday afternoon, cuddled up on the sofa with hubby and dogs, candles lit, wood burning stove glowing, watching a rom com and falling into a lovely snooze
• Saturday morning breakfast with hubby, in a nice cafe, eating good food, and yes, more tea (obviously)
• Every Sunday seans family (a few aunts, uncles, his mum and dad, cousins) meet up in one of our houses, eat freshly warmed pastries, drink lots of tea and put the world to rights
• A summers day, going for a walk with the dogs and smelling freshly cut grass
• A 6:30am walk (yes you read that time right)… the world is still mostly asleep, roads are quiet… just you, two Labradors and the chirping birds. The light can be beautiful that time of the morning
• Going for a coffee with my closest friends and chatting for hours
• Time spent with my sisters, eating lunch or baking or making pancakes for brunch
• A bubble bath with my favourite molten brown products, candles everywhere and a glass of wine, a long hot soak in a bubble bath can do wonders for your mood

All the things I have mentioned, all give me that warm and fuzzy feeling, a silent sense of contentment if you will. My husband cracks up because I light so many candles around the house, but for me, it makes me feel relaxed and at ease. But why include this in a blog supposedly about health, Paleo and IBS. Well let me tell you…

You can exercise til the cows come home, you can diet until your blue in the face, but the reality of it is, if you don’t get some sort of contentment in your life, all that stuff I have mentioned in previous blogs doesn’t matter. In order to manage my IBS, I need to keep my stress levels low, because believe it or not IBS is affected by stress. I feel like by introducing the concept of hygge into my life, its made me actively seek ways to keep my stress to a low, and to actually appreciate those little areas of contentment in our life.  I feel in this modern day society, so much is expected of us, to be a good wife, to be a good mother, to hold down a successful job, to be fit and healthy and strong, whilst also being a good homemaker, and quite frankly its exhausting (btw I am purely speaking on behalf on the female population at this point, quite frankly I have no idea what you men face.. you are an alien concept I am still figuring out).

So whilst diet and exercise are totally important in your life and definitely go a long way to improving your mental wellbeing (due to the fact it gives you focus and drive), but its also important to have hygglelig moments in your life.

So go, go take a hygglelig moment… run a bath, bake a cake, go for a coffee with friends, go buy ten thousand candles and light them all at one time. Chase that warm and fuzzy feeling that afterwards you will say “ah that was really nice”.

For me, right now, writing this blog for you guys whilst looking out at a lovely spring day with the dogs basking in the sunlight streaming through the windows is my hygge moment.

Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

First Impressions last

Hi all, so welcome to my first ever blog post. Pretty exciting stuff! So, I have probably put a lot more thought and effort into this blog post than is needed, but first impressions last….and this post may very well dictate whether you come back for round 2.  So lets set the scene….I got myself a nice new notebook, jotted down a bunch of ideas and found myself the most hygge (pronounced Hooga) spot in the house…I will do a blog on hygge before you all think I have lost the plot.

I am sitting in our second living room, which doesn’t have a TV and is pretty minimal with furniture (two big grey sofas, a big leather trunk we rescued from a skip, some speakers and a guitar… oh and also plenty of candles). It’s a nice quiet space just to chill and take a little reflection time, and obviously I have a cup of tea in hand and a piece of 85% dark chocolate (for strength and concentration obviously).  So here it goes, my first blog, and I hope you enjoy!

I want to quickly chat about my relationship with food, don’t panic, I’m not intending on recounting the last 28 years of my life in this blog, detailing my transition from milk to solids. No-one really cares about that. However, I am sure there are people out there who might relate to what I am about to say. I am a comfort eater… things go wrong, someone better bring me a cream bun. I didn’t (sometimes still don’t) possess willpower…. if someone else is eating it, pass it over here love. Eyes bigger than my belly, oh hello giant googley eyes. That is all well and good, until the guilt hits after you’ve shoved a whole packet of custard creams in your mouth and because you have IBS you now look like you may give birth any moment. Not cool.

The question is, what are you going to do about it? In the past, I’ve tried fad diets, supplements that apparently speed up metabolism and increase endurance at the gym, I also tried joining a gym but didn’t really know what I was trying to do so I spent most time fixing my hair in the mirror whilst briskly walking on a treadmill, and last of least accepted the belly was there to stay. Let me tell you something for nothing…. none of those options were a good idea, NONE. All I did was set unrealistic goals and set myself up for a fall.

Listen, I am not an expert of any sort on these topics, I am purely going to give an honest account of how its been for me. You want to do a fad diet, knock yourself out; you want to take ‘metabolism fastening’ substances – eat them like jelly beans for all it is to me. But here is my advice to you:

1. Educate yourself. Speak to someone who knows – a dietician, a personal trainer, a nutritionist, a fit friend, Google it if you have to. Make informed choices about how you ultimately treat your body
2. Be sensible – your health is your wealth
3. Be proactive – don’t accept that you’ve just put on weight and its there to stay, or you have a condition like IBS and theres nothing you can do about it. I am pretty sure no matter what it is, someone can help you, and you can help yourself
4. Don’t just complain about it. Make a change. No-one is going to laugh at you or put you down for trying – and lets face it, if they do, they are a moron.

So these are my words of wisdom for a Tuesday night. I am going to enjoy the rest of my cuppa and go spend a little time with hubby before we gotta do life all over again tomorrow.

Goodnight y’all

Deborah x

 

FYI – coconut addiction still going strong. Coconut products used / consumed today = 2. And yesterday someone told me I smelled really nice because of my coconut handcream….Boom.